The grass is greener on the other side !!

When in the morning we pick up the newspaper , sip a cup of coco and sit in the balcony looking at the early risers around we often wonder that how come other people are happy when our life is whirling with tension and problems with no solution in the vicinity. We try to find out the reason for them being happy rather than finding it at our own end. We tend to look at others and always feel that "the grass is greener on the other side." In all this wondering and brooding about others we lose focus of our objectives and forget that we too are "OTHERS" for someone else. There are some other group of people who are jealous of our lives.

Most of us look at the barren land at our end but fail to see green patches of happiness and prosperity which life has bestowed upon us. In the daily hectic routine the problems are always highlighted by us but the small things which should be celebrated are largely ignored and forgotten. Life's not a marathon where we have to run fast so that we can reach the end sooner. Instead its a roller coaster ride where every twist and turn should be cherished and enjoyed. The turns which we have left behind are thing of the past and should not be dwelled upon because they cause nothing but pain and the ones coming ahead should be met with zeal and enthusiasm.

We should enjoy the little drops of joy be it a drive on a windy night or a walk in the park or an outing with friends or family or simply being at home with people whom we love. As they say we live only once so live life to the fullest focusing on not what makes others happy, but what makes us happy. Moreover we should stick to the decisions we make and not get deterred no matter what happens and the instincts or the gut feel should never be ignored. Thus, Grass is not only green on the other side but this side as well.

Expectations !!!

"Our limitations and success will be based, on our own expectations for ourselves. What the mind dwells upon, the body acts upon"

What are your expectations from the future? Are you excited and thrilled about it or looking at it with apprehension and fear?For most people the future holds too many uncertainties and the fear of what might happens tends to overshadow the ray of light that represents the life they ultimately desire.We all live with an unconscious expectation of ourselves and our own lives. This expectation not only determines what we have in our lives but it also represents what we are willing to settle for. They are a very powerful emotion and the one that very few people ever learn to fully cultivate.

Each and everyone out here expects something or the other either from friends to help them when in need; family to support them no matter what; colleagues to be just in their work; job to give a high pay package; teachers to be fair while evaluating; govt to bring out a healthy budget for common man so on and so forth. This list is endless.

Expectations are strange things and something which is inherent in every relation. Initially we are flexible and ready to accept the person as it is. But as the relationship strengthens,so does the level of expectation. We start hoping a lot from the other person. It is such hopes, which when not met sometimes hampers the very basic foundation of a relation.

In friendship too we expect a lot from each other. Small small things begin to bother when done differently.As we move further in life we begin to meet new people, but this doesn't mean that the importance of the earlier ones are lost. The new people cannot replace the existence of the others. They are merely an extension of our database. But because we have expectations it keeps on nagging at us, in some small subconscious part of our mind. Sometimes it becomes so difficult that you really don't get to know whether to let go of them altogether or just hope they come true.

Though having expectations are nice as it helps us to come out of our existing circumstances to more desired ones, but as we say too much of everything is bad, the same holds true in this regard too. Each and every relation requires space and room for breathing. We should not bind them in our chains of expectations as they will rust and get tarnished to such a point that it will become irreparable.

Dreading the unknown...

It was pitch dark outside as it was a moonless night and the winds were howling. It was raining like cats and dogs. The windows were barred with grill and were banging loudly against the wall. Shadows could be seen forming on the wall giving it a scary look. Cobwebs were hanging on the sides and suddenly a group of bats flew by. My heart was racing and I was scared to death. I cried for help but to my dismay none came. Frantically i tried searching for a way out but there was none which i could find. I climbed the creaking stairs praying hard that they don't break in search of a door or anything that could lead me away from this situation. On reaching I observed that the first floor looked more ghostly, with the paintings staring at your face and the chairs covered with dust and cobwebs. All this was fueling my level of fear and my desire to run was increasing. It felt as if i was locked in a box and the keys were thrown away someplace so that no one can find me. I didn't know what to do , how to get out. I was so helpless and alone. Then as if god heard me and took pity lightning struck and far in the corner of the room I saw something which resembled a door . I ran quickly towards it to check and Yes !! it was a door. I murmured a thank you and started moving the chairs which were stacked against it. When it was done, i tried opening the door and found that i still couldn't. Filled with anger and disappointment i sat down and wondered how to get out. I quickly scanned the room for any other option but i already knew that this door was my only hope. I kicked hard, banged the door with a hammer; tried everything possible i could in the situation , but the door just wouldn't budge. I was tired, scared and thirsty and still clueless. As i calmed down i scrutinized the room once again. The chandelier was antique, the curtains were velvet and the paintings which now looks scary in the dark were indeed masterpieces. The room must have been very royal once and a privy to lot of lavish parties and balls. Amidst all this thinking my fear had completely faded and i started to like the room. A sudden lightening reminded me of my task and i tried opening the door again. To my grave astonishment the door opened easily.

As i walked through the door, I entered the same room again but it was now in a much better shape. The windows were shining, curtains seemed washed and dry cleaned, paintings were all looking beautiful and the eerie feeling which the room gave earlier was replaced by a feeling of hope, warmth and happiness. The sun was bright outside, birds were flying in the garden and everything was perfect as it can ever be. I then realized it was not the room that had changed but my way of looking at it has changed. Earlier i feared the unknown but as my fear subsided i was able to come out of the nightmare to a more prosper situation.

In our daily lives too we dread certain things. These could be the fear of failure, fear of losing that someone special, fear of defaulting or the fear of not being respected and accepted by the peers. When we come across such fearful things we act like pigeons when they are attacked. Pigeons close their eyes thinking that as they cannot see the attacker, even the attacker cannot see them. But we all know its not the case. Turning blind eye to the problems is not the solution. We first need to fight our inner demons and then take on the world. We have to let go of the fear and fill ourselves with hope. Only then can we give in our 100% and achieve the pinnacle of success.

Trust!!

I came, I trusted , I was betrayed..

This is a very general phenomena which most of us have faced at some point of our lives. If we look at the surface why trust anyone? The risk is too great and the pain is too high. So why take a chance? Certainly we all have asked such questions, especially after feeling the sharp blade of hurt in the violation of our trust. We all have walked down a dark street at night in an unfamiliar city with an uneasy feeling; each footfall behind us seems menacing and we quicken our steps. We tend to look over our shoulder time and again, hyper-alert for any danger lurking in the shadows. This is the same thing we experience with Trust when we walk down the unfamiliar path, meet new people, depend on others for certain things and not know what lay ahead in future.

Somewhere along the journey called Life we have experienced betrayal leading to us becoming a little jaded in our view to the world. Initially we trusted every one we knew but as our experience grew, the little voice inside us raised caution with every decision involving trust. Hence, we discovered no one is immune to the pain of mistrust. Like walking down the dark street has taught us to trust but also told us to glance to and fro looking for the possible signs of trouble. Similarly, we need to find trust amongst the various faces of betrayal.

We cannot expect to achieve closeness with people unless we are willing to allow others to understand what we are like on the inside and unless others trust us enough to grant the same privilege. Trust hold life together. Families, marriages, friendship and even economies are based on trust.

This trust - mistrust battle is an ongoing one and continues to rage within us. Something within us wants to trust and something within wants to distrust our trusting judgment. We don't want to be cynical every time, yet we are suspicious of everyone around. We should know when to trust and when not to. We have to learn to differentiate and not allow few acts of betrayal overpower the other acts of trust.

The Unspoken

It was the spring season. The sun was shining bright, sky was clear with a light shade of blue, the trees were loaded with fresh juicy fruits waiting to be plucked and the meadows - full of ripe crops to be harvested. A cool breeze was blowing. People as usual were doing their daily chores with full enthusiasm. Amongst all this, far in the corner of the central park, a young man roughly of the age of 26 - 27 years was sitting. He carried a look of sadness and seemed dazed as if in some another world. Upon a closer inspection, hint of tears could be seen in his eyes. A lump was forming in his throat and he was trying hard to control the stream of salty water. After calming himself down he picked up the soggy piece of paper which was tightly clutched in his hand. It was the 5th time he was reading it and still couldn't believe; his Father was dead.

He opened his bag and took out a picture of his father. The picture brought back the memories of the last time he saw him. It was somewhere around 2 years back. Fresh out of college Mike wanted to pursue his dream of becoming a musician. His father being a business man criticized it. They had lots of fights and arguments and in the end Mike decided to leave to chase his dreams. He could still clearly remember the fuming face of his father, standing at the doorstep. It was a deep shade of red. After Mike became successful he became so busy with his life that he never got the chance to go back and visit his father. The visit was always postponed to the next available opportunity.

Suddenly, the phone rang and its shrill sound interrupted the stream of thoughts. It was his dad's lawyer who wanted to give a letter which his father wrote but could never post. It was the last piece of communication from his father. The letter said " I am sorry son that i never believed in you and in your dreams. But now upon seeing how successful you are i can only say how proud i am of you. Hope you achieve whatever your heart desires. My blessings are always with you. Love you".

At that point of time Mike wanted nothing more but to hug his father and tell him how much he loved him and how sorry he was that he wasnt there for him. He regretted all those times when he hated his father for not supporting him and the times when he couldnt be with him. A feeling of helplessness was slowly creeping in. Mike wanted to go back in time and undo all the wrongs. He wished that he had said the unsaid and not left the unspoken feelings behind.

In our life too we refrain from telling our loved ones how important they are and how much we love them. Life is short and very uncertain. You never know when the person you love the most is not around anymore. So share all your feelings with your loved ones and make them feel significant. Say the unspoken words so that you dont regret in future.

Beauty and the Beast !!!

The train had started moving. A 30 year old man was sitting at the window seat looking and admiring the beauty outside. When he saw birds flying he got all excited and shouted at everyone around, telling them how beautiful they looked. He was in awe of the trees that were passing by. For him even the light gentle breeze that was blowing carried a different freshness today. He could see the huge sugarcane farms in the distance having a distinctive sweet fragrance. After sometime rain drops fell on his hands, he was thrilled just like a small 5 year old, when they get chocolates and toffees. Seeing such an odd behavior from a 30 year old, a lady sitting beside him couldn't help asking him the reason for such demonstration. She thought that he was a krack case and needed to go to a mental asylum. Upon questioning him, the answer she received made her feel embarrassed on her thoughts. The man was blind since birth and had just come from the hospital with a new pair of eyes. For him all these things were new and he was enjoying it to the hilt.

Without even knowing the truth, the lady had made assumptions about the man being a nut case. How many times do we make this mistake? We make certain perception about people or things and stick to it without considering other possibilities that can exists. Thus, it is imperative to know the truth before making assumptions and acting on our beliefs because there is a story behind every action an individual undertakes.

This incident also depicts the fact that on one hand we have such beauty in our environment and on the other hand there are people who starve for food, suffer from ailments and are disfigured. It feels sad and unfair at the same time. We should consider ourselves lucky and thank god to be able to revel in the bounties of nature. We are the blessed ones who have the love of our family and support of friends. Each and every moment of our life should be enjoyed. There is beauty in the varying shades of butterfly, the slight tinch of pink in the morning sky or the glittering dots shimmering against a black velvet blanket during the night. All of this should be appreciated. We should try and find joy in small things like helping an old man cross the road rather than materialistic things which we run after.

This bad and good side of the nature also tells us the positive and the negative aspect of human beings. Each one of us has devil and angel residing within us. Its just the question of which one gets better of us. Human beings are generally victims of circumstances. Their behavior are molded by the various situations they face and experiences they gather. No individual is bad or good by birth. Its the various problems they face and the company they keep that make them the way they are.

Our society consists of both beauty and the beast. It is upto us to cultivate the beauty and convert the beast. I wont say kill the beast because there is a prince hidden underneath the mask.

P.S. First time i have used my Consumer Behavior concepts so well.. I wished these concepts could have been applied while writing the exams.. :P

ADIOS....

Each and every new journey brings with itself new hurdles and challenges and along with that we also catch hold of few people who help us through the journey making it worthwhile. I too have such people in my life who help me, solve my doubts, give me courage and motivate me to reach my aim. These are my friends.

When i entered IBS, i was cautious and had all sorts of ideas about people around. But never once thought to find such a wacky group where anything and everything is possible. When we all come together we have time of our lives. From sitting in the canteen (all day long cos of tushki to help him bird watch :) .. i guess i might be killed for this) to loitering around in the college to going to dhabha or for late night walks (that would be me pestering everyone), we have done everything. I still remember the fights we have had over Delhi - Mumbai (though i still agree Delhi is the best :P ), heated discussions over politics and endless talks about movies (Yeah we all are big time movie buffs ... ). Oh!! how can i forget our outings and trips which would be planned for days and then postponed due to assignments and submissions which are part and parcel of life at B-school. With lips drooping and face sulking some would go to Ramulu for pepping up and others like me would go to Osman Sagar lake ( can you imagine i have been there 5 times, i think no one in the college would have been such a frequent visitor) .

Many ask me what is it that you will remember the most from these past two years. For me it is not one moment which i can say is special but each and every moment spent with my friends is memorable to me. Be it trip to Srisailam, Vizag or even Ramoji film city ( which was by far the most embarrassing one for me n now dont ask me why :( .. ) , each carry a special memory. Even the auto rides where we all use to sing at top of our voices thinking that we are descendants of Tansen is unforgettable. The way we use to take the case of our teachers (remember the 1st sem guys ;) .. gosh how can we even forget), the times we supposedly went to library for studies but ended up sleeping and snoring on the the sofa (hehe) and yeah the birthdays - full of dirt, left over food, kicks and boxes and hardly any cakes ; all are memories worth a lifetime.

In IBS i have not found friends but a small and close knit family where everyone loves each other and at the same time fight with each other. Even though all are strange people with weird habits, they are dear to me.Since, the session is coming to the end, i find it difficult to bid goodbye. So, here's a small poem which captures my feelings and says it all

As we walk our path of life,
We meet people everyday.
Most are simply met by chance.
But, some are sent our way.

These become special friends
Whose bond we can't explain;
The ones who understand us
And share our joy and pain.

Their love contains no boundaries.
So, even we are apart.
Their presence enhances us
With a warmth felt in the heart.

This love becomes a passageway,
When even the miles disappear.
And so, these friends, God sends our way,
Remain forever near.

Dreams- weird and strange.. yet so compelling !!

In this world where we live, there are two kinds of groups. One is a large group of people who curse the almighty for everything going wrong in their life and always complain of life being unfair and unjust to them, and on the other we have a small group of people who struggle their entire life to make their living. Everything just seems to be working for them and to others they seem blessed. What do you think is the difference between this large group with complains and small group with satisfaction with whatever they have? The difference lies in their ability to dream.

Dreams are like mirrors. They tell you how you want to lead your life and the ways to overcome hindrances and challenges thrown at you. Dreams help you unleash the creativity burning inside you and gives you the power to go beyond. While its true that we all have dreams, it is not true that everyone of us is living our dreams. Well some of us could be stuck and be unable to get past the phase of dreaming to the phase of action.

If suppose we are climbing a mountain, the first thought to occur would be "How did others manage to climb it? Isn't it hard?". It's not that it was not hard for them or that they had some kind of superpower to make the task easier. It's just that they had the dream; they had the ambition. They were not focusing on the hardships that they were facing. In their minds they were already on the other side basking the sunshine and enjoying the wealth which the land had to offer. Their dreams were much more stronger than the obstacles facing them.

You should never let your resolutions and goals weaken just because of the fear of the inability to face the challenge. Always be a dreamer and envision the future. Keep the finish line in mind when you are running a race, think of the praises while in the middle of the project and in your mind always see yourself achieving your goals. You have to be willing to suffer through the pain and miseries in the way. You have to adjust to being uncomfortable till you become comfortable, because only this way my friend "YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS"

So do you have the motivation to join the few people who manage to get past the dreaming stage and actually live their dream?

Life in a hostel !!!

I still remember the very first time when i heard that i might have to go to a hostel for further studies. I was so scared and worried. All my life i have lived with my parents, protected and pampered by them. The thought of being far away from them that too for 2 years was enough to give me goose bumps. I was wondering that what in the world has happened that my parents are sending me away. Am i becoming too much of a burden?

While coming to IBS, Hyderabad (my soon to be college) to give my interview, i had full intentions to screw it up ( n i actually thought that i did). But all my planning and calculations got a hit when i received my call letter where it was clearly mentioned that i have successfully made it to IBS. Half halfheartedly i boarded the Delhi - Hyderabad flight still with the hope that maybe its all a dream. But to my disappointment and fantasy of it being a dream, 2 hours later there i was, standing at the new Shamshabad airport of Hyderabad, with my whole cupboard packed. The journey from the airport to the college was a task in itself. Reason being that the college is situated on the outskirts of the city (30 kms away can u imagine!! How n where will I party?) and 40 kms from the airport. Somehow i managed to reach the college with my supposedly happy spirits intact ( for my parents sake who all seemed happy about the prospect that i was going to a hostel). With heart thumping hard, blood gushing into my ears and fear of the unknown i entered my college gate. At this point of time i was not thinking about the different and exciting life i'l be having but how little time was left with me to spend with my parents. After setting up my room and filling the formalities, my parents left me in this alien world where i didnt know any one. Here i was supposed to fend for myself. The days of hot coffee in bed and "sleep my child you are studying since long" was gone.

So,begins my life in a hostel. Hostel life is very different from what i had perceived it to be. Being fed by the Hindi movies, i always imagined hostel consisting of stern female wardens, dormitory full of girls and late nights doing loads n loads of work. But that's not the case. Hostel life is supposed to be full of fun n masti. The part where stern female wardens n late nights are concerned is perfectly true but with a slight difference. We are awake the whole night not doing work but watching movies, updating ourselves with the latest gossips and listening to music. In between all this if we get time assignments and submissions are also remembered.

If we see, hostel has a lot to teach us. Till few days back i hated my parents for sending me to the hostel, but now i know the rationale behind their move. It was not because they hated me or didnt love me. Infact it's probably one of the toughest decision that they took. They sent me to make me a person of substance. Hostel teaches you to be independent ( atleast to me it has taught that), makes you value friendship and people around, helps you to take your own decisions in life ( that i'm still learning). During my hostel life i have seen the worst and the best of times where my friends have been a constant support (truly guys without you all, things would have been difficult). Here i have seen people change, some being positively others negatively. Hostel is a place where you commit mistakes and learn. It develops your personality not completely but surely enough to make others see the change in you. However hard have i criticized my parents for sending me here, i now feel its the best decision they have taken.

MBA and Role of B-schools

In today's time each and every individual aspires to become an MBA.When i asked my younger cousin who is just 12 years old that what he wants to be once he grows up i got a very unexpected answer, "I want to be an MBA". He didn't even know what MBA stands for. Earlier an individual with an MBA degree was considered highly educated and professional but now a days MBA has become more of a necessity and an object to flaunt off. Every 1 in 5 individual is an MBA. The rate at which people are post graduating with MBA degrees it seems to me that soon enough we will have a separate nation for them alone. Its not that I'm anti-MBA infact i myself belong to the very same herd of MBA students. Its just that i sometimes wonder why do people pursue this course. Some do it because chachi ya mausi ke bachon ne kiya hai so we also have to do, some (especially boys ; plz dont take me wrong) do it because the prospects of marriage increases, some of them do it for better job opportunities and others do it because they actually want to study (do these kind of people actually exists?).

But tell me one thing do you actually believe that to be a good manager we need an MBA tag? I don't think so atleast not with the kind of theoretical education we get in our B-Schools. Although MBA has been the fastest growing degree course in last couple of decades, its not a prerequisite for a managers post. An individual do not have to sit through formal examinations to demonstrate their knowledge and innovative thinking. Management according to me is practiced and not preached. Also, management cannot be taught in a controlled environment. No B-School can prepare a student for the contingent situations which they might face in future mainly because these B-Schools emphasize more on quantitative methods like economics, operations, statistics, market research so on and so forth. The qualitative aspects like leadership, basic boardroom etiquettes etc. are largely ignored. Detailed analysis of data is also not taught. These institutions lead us to believe that a managers job is only restricted to goal setting, strategy formulation and controlling functions. They fail to tell us that there is lots more to do; paying attention to details being one of them. Even the case study methods (which are supposed to prepare us to deal with unforeseen crisis) are function specific i.e. its not focused on the entire leadership dimension but restricted to a particular domain.

B-Schools also emphasize not on adding knowledge but improving grades. In this race of who comes firsts and who comes second, students tend to lose focus on learning and instead concentrate on those activities which can earn them higher grades. Hence, the philosophy of "by hook or by crook" is followed. Due to intense competition, pressure for placements also increase and students start asking themselves "What can i do to make more money?".

All these thoughts make me wonder why to pursue MBA and enter the rat race? Whats so special about it when even without MBA degree we can be as successful as Tatas and Birlas. I leave it to you guys to find out the answers which may be on all our minds but we never got a chance to find out

Blogging

The other day i was chatting online with a friend of mine and she sent me a link of her "blog" and asked me to read it. The first thought to enter my mind was "Oh God! how vella can one be", so i chose to ignore. But after a lot of pestering i somehow manged to read the blog. To my amazement i found her blog very interesting and i was eagerly waiting for the sequel. This unusual behavior of mine made me realize that blogging is not what we do when we are free. In fact its a medium of expressing yourself without any inhibitions. It requires a lot of time and effort and lot of thought goes into the process. So, after lot of contemplation and thinking , here i am with my first blog, which now makes me a part of this growing madness of blogging. Well, since i have entered this ocean, let me take the plunge and write some sense in this otherwise senseless blog.

The very same day when i got introduced to the world of blogging, i also got acquainted with another side of our Indian society. We claim to be the next super power, our economy is booming, infrastructure increasing, education level rising, then why still do we have an orthodox mindset when it comes to girl - boy friendship. When a country develops, its not just development of infrastructure or economy that takes place, the mind set of people too have to evolve. If we continue with age old notions, then our growth will be hampered and prosperity of the country will be slowed or may even be stopped. On one hand we claim to be modern and on the other we still question the authenticity of girl and boy being "just friends". When 2 people are from same gender and are friends then its OK, but if people from opposite gender come close and share the same friendship then we see raised eyebrows and question - filled eyes. We again come down to the very same old question which i believe is being asked from generations - " Kya ek ladka aur ladki dost ban sakte hain?". In my opinion girls and boys can be friends, in fact they can be best of friends. The level of understanding that they share is huge, fights are less( believe me much less! phew!) and the amount of care don't even ask, its not even comparable. Till the time a girl and a boy know the limits of their relation, their friendship should be acceptable and not questioned along the imaginary threads which binds our society.

With this thought i choose to leave and would love to hear your views about these double standards which some of our members of the society possess.